today started off with me spilling my breakfast all over the carpet... and therefore I ended up not having enough time to devote to...devotions. Even though I spent time talking to God on the drive to work, my day was pretty much downhill from there. Did a lot of little things wrong at work and ended the day feeling extremely down about myself and my abilities. My job shouldn't be that hard, and the things I did stupid were just that....stupid. Unfortunately my whole evening was ruined by my tiredness and being down upon myself.
I finally did my day 3 devotional only to be reprimanded for the very thing I was wallowing in: self-absorption. The book started off with talking about self absorption having two side effects: pride and shame. Obviously I am struggling with the latter.
even after reading through and journaling, I am still feeling crappy. I guess I can't use God as a pain-killer. He isn't a pill I can just pop and everything will feel better. In fact, many times it feels worse, like tonight when he revealed more sin to me. Now, how do I not get self-absorbed and shameful about being self-absorbed and shameful??
also: how do I pray with my husband like i should when it's the last thing i feel like doing?
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